Holy Moly These Girls Are Terrible Roller Skaters (The Bachelor Week 4 Recap)
January 29, 2013
And we’re back with week four of bachelor Sean Lowe’s quest to sleep with as many women as possible in an attempt to find a new short-term girlfriend. This week featured individual dates for Selma and Leslie H. and a very disappointing roller derby group date, but first up is Selma’s one on one date with Sean.
Sean and Selma’s date begins with a limo ride to the airport where they are whisked away in a private plane. Selma takes this time to let the audience know she’s got a little gold digger in her stating, “this is what I love” (while riding in private jet). She also wants to know if this is what every date is going to be like, at this point someone might want to mention ABC probably won’t be paying for Sean to take her out anymore once the show is over. The fun ends for Selma when the plane lands in the desert outside Joshua Tree National Park. The date card asked if Selma was ready to ‘turn up the heat’ and as it turns out, she’s not. Despite growing up in Iraq and living in southern California, Selma mentions repeatedly that she hates the heat, and says she feels puffy as they head out on their adventure. Sean shows he one of the more fun bachelor’s in the show’s history by taking Selma on a rock climbing date he knows she isn’t going to like. Sean seems to really enjoy messing with the girls, he pulled a prank on Desiree during their one on one date, (and watched on hidden camera while she freaked out) and he remarks before they start climbing that he knows Selma isn’t athletic but it will be fun to watch her “attempt to rock climb.” Selma ultimately does better than expected with the rock climbing (or at least its edited together to make it look like she did well) and they head out for the final portion of their date. Later in the evening Sean and Selma get in some quality cuddling time, and Selma reveals that she comes from a strict muslim background. Selma says kissing someone on national television would “literally” give her mother a heart attack, and so she is forced to reject Sean’s request for a kiss. Looks like two strikes against Selma, she’s a minority (never good on this show) and she doesn’t put out, I’d say strike three isn’t too far away even though she does come away with a rose from this date.
The group date shows Sean really cares about entertaining the home audience, as he takes a group of extremely unathletic girls to attempt roller derby. Amanda is confident as the girls practice before the match (as she should be since she’s the only girl who can stay on her feet). Unfortunately for Amanda all her bragging is wasted when she falls and busts her chin, resulting in a trip to the hospital, and in the game being called off in favor of leisurely roller skating around the rink. Roller skating is especially difficult for Sarah who has managed to cry at least once every episode. I hope for Sarah’s sake Sean cuts her loose soon, or I fear she could end up crashing harder than a one-armed girl in a roller skating rink. Amanda returns during the cocktail party portion of the group date, and says she loves the sympathy card, and is willing to play dirty, at least she’s honest (sometimes). Unfortunately for Amanda, Sean doesn’t seem to be a super sympathetic guy because she ends up rose-less at the end of the episode. Robyn and Tierra get in a little spat when Robyn doesn’t include Tierra is the discussion of Amanda’s injury (possibly because she frequently doesn’t respond when the girls talk to her). My favorite part of this exchange was that Sarah was once again left as the only one still sitting with Tierra. I can’t decide if this continually happens because Sarah actually likes Tierra, or if it’s because she just can’t stand up quickly enough to get away. Following a brief one-sided conversation with Sarah, Tierra announces she wants to leave because she “can’t be tortured like this anymore” (in relation to the environment in the house). Tierra puts on a convincing (somewhat) dramatic performance to the shows producers before finding Sean, and being convinced to stay on the show. (he even gives her the group date rose to reassure her of his feelings…I still definitely want to f*k you, please don’t leave yet). While Tierra is having her breakdown Lindsay is very successfully playing the opposite strategy to Selma, and is on the verge is going into the hot tub with Sean before being interrupted. (where did she get a bathing suit from, do they just wear one all the time in case a hot tub pops up).
And for the final date this week, Leslie H. is taken on a ‘Pretty Woman’ style date, which according to Sean and Leslie is every girls dream (might want to double-check that). After getting a new dress, purse, diamond earings, and shoes (plus borrowing a very pricey necklace from Neil Lane) Leslie declares that when she looks at Sean she sees her future husband. Alas, poor Leslie, Sean is not feeling the same vibe. Following some ‘getting to know you’ time over dinner, Sean tells Leslie he doesn’t feel a romantic spark and he doesn’t give her the rose, signaling the end of Leslie’s time on The Bachelor. (Sean never directly says the number of times Leslie said holy moly during the date cost her the rose, but I certainly don’t think it helped her any). Sean says he didn’t know he would feel this bad about letting women go after not giving Leslie H. the rose, personally I think he would have felt a lot better about it if Ben Taylor wasn’t playing depressing music right behind him, but that’s just me. One plus for Leslie H. she did get to keep those diamond earrings, so at least this experience wasn’t a total loss.
Finally we head into the cocktail party/rose ceremony portion of this weeks episode. The high point of the cocktail party featured one of the worst apologies in history by Tierra. Tierra decides she needs to ‘squash’ the issues she has had with some of the girls in the house, in this case specifically Robyn and Jackie (who has still only spoken five words on camera, so its unclear what she did to make Tierra upset). Tierra starts by saying Robyn attacked her for no reason on the group date (attacked is a little strong here but lets not quibble). Robyn responds by saying she’s not used to people not liking her, which is followed by Tierra saying she has never not liked her and it’s Robyn’s ‘bad’ for feeling that way. Tierra concludes by saying the girls should focus on themselves and not worry about what she is doing or why she’s doing it. For some reason (probably to get away from her so they can talk shit about her some more) the girls accept Tierra’s apology (even though it’s hard to figure out what part of her speech was an apology) and everyone goes on their way. Following the rose ceremony, Amanda is the lone girl in the group to not receive a rose. Amanda attempts to prove she is sad about this by stating she is miserable, and that ‘heart break is such a difficult emotion.’ She does final manage to get her voice to crack a little when she mentions feeling stupid, but generally speaking I think the other girls may have been on to something when they said she wasn’t there for the right reasons.
The preview shows us that next week we’ll be treated to a two-day bachelor extravaganza to air on both Monday and Tuesday! The preview shows more fighting between Tierra and the other girls, and another (probably fake) injury situation for Tierra. But more exciting than any of the Tierra clips, it appears Jackie will be getting her first chance at some screen time since she kissed Sean in the first episode. Will probably end up covering both episodes separately, but could turn into a super post on Wednesday, either way see you next week.